A client of mine was not treating herself very well. She asked me:
What do you recommend I do to start catching myself sooner?
I told her:
Start allowing for it to be 100% okay to simply observe “what is” (i.e., beating yourself down, judging yourself, railing on yourself, loathing yourself, giving your life a caustic narration).
Once you do that, ask yourself how that feels right now in real time in your life, present day, present moment.
Tell yourself honestly how it feels when you loathe yourself, when you say something caustic to yourself, when you don’t have your own back.
I have found that once I tell the truth about how it feels right now as well as the truth about what’s causing that feeling right now (which is a thought – right now – not someone or something else, either now or in the past), I realize I have the power to change how I feel right now by changing the thought I’m thinking right now.
By the way, I used to wanted to know the origins of all my stuff/stories/pain. I spent a lot of years on that.
I now realize that my feelings now are caused by my thoughts now (even though I might be thinking about something that occurred in the past or that might occur in the future), and that makes things really simple for me.
I can feel better now by finding the thoughts causing my pain now and changing them to better-feeling thoughts now.
Then, I feel. better. now.
Which is all I ever wanted.